Wednesday, August 8, 2007

TRUE FRIENDS - ramble....vent....whatever you want to call it....

I have often wondered what it means to have a TRUE friend.... Ever sit and think about the people around you and what they would say if you were not around anymore? Would they miss you? Would you miss them? Do I really have a TRUE friend at all? I wonder if there is such a thing.

I know that my husband is my BEST friend because he loves me no matter what....but other than him......do I have ANY others??

I worry about what I can and can not say to my so-called friends and then realize that if they were my "real" friends that they would take whatever I had to say with a grain of salt because I may have said it in anger or frustration.

What about the days that I am "down" and just want to complain for the sake of complaining? Can they just sit there and listen instead of giving me the whole "been there done that" sermon?
I am trying to ramble and vent here and I am not making any sense!
I am just seriously considering if I really have ANY friends at all....I mean, I have acquaintances and people who care about how I am doing, but are they REALLY interested in me and how I am? Are they really interested in if I have a bad day? I just feel detached, lonely may be the better word for it.

I know that I have people that I can count on in an emergency. I know that if I needed help that I have certain people I can call.

But maybe the thing is - I AM lonely...I don't have the kinds of friendships that I had in Canada. Having a family changes that sort of thing I guess. Famiy comes first - I get that - but what about the friendships we used to have....key words "USED TO HAVE". Where did they go? I know that friends change over time and that friendships evolve. But what happened to the people I used to be friends with? What happened to the importance of friends outside of a marriage or family? Is that possible with kids? With a Husband? Or am I just kidding myself?

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